COVIDtine’s been really exhausting. Usually at this point, I’d have already seen a handful of Summer movies at the theatre, be they action, comedy or animation. This year, however, I haven’t been to the movie theatre since March, when I saw Onward. It’s been trying waiting out a global pandemic, made less-helpful by so many countries messing up their responses, but it’s had me thinking about 2013.
For those unaware, or don’t remember, 2013 was terrible for Summer movies. It was terrible for movies in general, with most big hitters debuting in time for Oscar season, but the Summer months were notoriously awful. Not since the late-90’s had releases been so vapid and/or disappointing, with most high-profile releases falling flat. So what better time to reflect on 7 years ago, right? Here goes:
The year began like most: after a drab Winter, as well as an early-Spring that was equally barren, we got a glimmer of hope in early-May with Iron Man 3. Helmed by Kiss Kiss Bang Bang visionary Shane Black, who’d later direct The Nice Guys, the movie was promising: an MCU film from one of Hollywood’s most-subversive action writers? That’s a dream come true! And did it deliver?
Well…somewhat. Ignoring the twist reveal, the movie, while a step-up from its predecessor, buckled under the weight of its expectations. It was a big movie with many great moments, but it couldn’t live up to its promise. In short, it disappointed. And it was still The MCU’s best offering that year.
That disappointment trickled into every big-budget release that year. Star Trek into Darkness had its moments, and it was well-acted, but it couldn’t shake screenwriting and directing issues. It also ripped off a better Star Trek movie with the Khan angle. Essentially, it was a big, bloated and underwhelming mess. So the season wasn’t looking promising.
This was the frustration of 2013: most of the tentpoles were either underwhelming, awful, or both. Whereas DC’s previous outing, 2012’s The Dark Knight Rises, left audience members polarized, their 2013 offering, Man of Steel was a train-wreck. Whereas there were usually 2 or 3 big-budget animations to hold younger audiences, the biggest, high-profile release was Monsters, University. It was a tough year to get hyped for anything, and the biggest crowd-pleaser, Pacific Rim, wasn’t even that great.
You know what didn’t help? Waiting for good releases. That was painful. In a normal Summer, it’s not uncommon to wait weeks between releases. 2013 had several weeks in a row with multiple films that were badly-received. It says a lot that: a. I saved money by not watching movies for several weeks in a row. b. my favourite movies of that Summer were This Is the End, a comedy about 5 Hollywood actors surviving The Apocalypse, and The World’s End, a comedy about 5 friends bar hopping during a covert invasion. When I wasn’t reducing movie-watching, I was watching people hold onto their humanity on-screen. Clearly, I’m a fan of schadenfreude.
If there was a silver lining to 2013, it’s the indie dramas. Of the 17 films I watched pre-September, most were low-budget, independent dramas. That’s not necessarily bad, though: I loved Mud and The Way, Way Back, and my frustration over missing Fruitvale Station in theatres was a nice change of pace. But it wasn’t the same. I craved big-budget comedies, animations and action films, three experiences that weren’t being offered in a satisfactory manner.
Fortunately, everything turned around come September. Right as I was about to give up on 2013 altogether, along came Rush. And Prisoners. And Gravity. And a slew of incredibly high-profile dramas. If the first 8 months of 2013 were a wasteland, filled with nothing but high-budget garbage, then the last 4 months of 2013 were the saving grace. It’s frustrating that Hollywood was holding out that long, waiting until the Fall and Winter for the big guns, but it was worth it! Not enough to forgive most of the year, but worth it!
It helped that the Fall/Winter months were compensating for much of the earlier misgivings. With the exception of Thor: The Dark World, arguably The MCU’s worst entry, those few last 4 months felt like an apology for the earlier ones: no good action movies? Have The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Disney left you wanting with Monsters, University? Try forgetting Frozen for the next 7 years. Even The Wind Rises, which I’d see in January of the following year, and The Wolf Children, which’d come out the year before in Japan, showed that there was good stuff in anime.
Regardless, it all felt like overcompensating. Which leads to the final question: why mention this?
Two reasons. The first is obvious, that being boredom. I’m bored and need something to do. COVIDtine’s been taxing for many reasons, and writing’s surprisingly therapeutic. That, and it gives me a chance to vent about 2013.
The second is perspective. So 2020 won’t let me go to the theatre? It could be worse! I could be scraping the bottom of the barrel for gold, assuming it’s even there! I may have only seen a handful of movies in theatres this year pre-pandemic. And yeah, that sucks. But pre-COVID’s track-record was better qualitatively than 2013’s was for most of the film year. That accounts for something, right?
But I digress. It’s been frustrating regardless, so why not lament about simpler times? It’s not like this pandemic’s gonna lift soon, right? (But seriously, stay home and wear a mask in public. Don’t be selfish.)
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