No Nose Knows!

Jews frequently get the short end of the stick in Hollywood. Despite being present since its inception, few attempts at portraying their stories feel authentic. We either are reduced to stock tropes, have our stories hijacked by non-Jews, or are made into victims. And whenever we speak up, we’re either chastised or talked over. Such is the case with Maestro, an upcoming biopic about the late-Leonard Bernstein:

Hmm… (Courtesy of Rotten Tomatoes Trailers.)

I’ll mention upfront that I’m interested in seeing this. Leonard Bernstein was responsible for some of the greatest compositions of the last century, and I like Bradley Cooper and Carrey Mulligan. I also like this teaser, with the use of colour being effective at marking the passage of time. I’m sure the movie will be good, especially with Cooper directing it. But that’s not my issue.

I’m a lot more concerned with casting Cooper as Bernstein. Not because he doesn’t look like him, because he does. Rather, it’s because Cooper’s not Jewish. It doesn’t help that the film gave Cooper an exaggerated, prosthetic nose. Yeah…

As expected, this movie reignited a debate about Jewish representation in Hollywood. It felt like another slap in the face there. It didn’t help that Cooper was given a fake nose to make his look like Bernstein’s. Never mind that it’s awkward and fake. Who thought this was a good idea?!

Big noses are one of the oldest Antisemitic tropes, right up there with horns and greed. It’s so prevalent that it’s even made its way into fantasy with goblins and witches, as both often have hooked noses. It’s not as if Jews don’t have big noses, but not in an over-the-top way. It’s why the characterization of goblins in the Harry Potter series is so concerning to Jews, even to those who like it. (And no, that’s not up for debate.)

While representation in general has improved over the years, especially with minorities having more of a voice, it’s not equitable yet. Bradley Cooper having an enlarged nose is one such an example of the uphill battle Jews still have. While the goblins of Gringotts Bank are Antisemitic, at least they’re fictional. Leonard Bernstein, however, was a real person, so that adds insult to injury. That 5 of Maestro’s multiple producers are Jewish doesn’t help, since they should know better.

While this is bad enough, what makes it worse is that this was originally a passion project of Jake Gyllenhaal’s for 20 years. Gyllenhaal’s Jewish, and while he’s expressed no hard feelings toward Cooper on Instagram, I still think he was done dirty. And sure, Bernstein’s children wanted Cooper, I get that. But using their consent as proof that this “isn’t an issue” does Jews no favours. It’s a form of tokenism to only consider their voices, especially when they have a vested interest.

I’d be less on-edge if the prosthetic nose wasn’t so distracting. But it is. Even ignoring how Carrey Mulligan isn’t Latina, hence another miscasting, I can’t look at Cooper’s portrayal without zooming in on his prosthetic nose. Why’s it so needlessly-big? Why’s it so artificially-angular? And why doesn’t look like Bernstein’s nose? Forget how the aging makeup looks amazing, that nose is distracting!

You know what doesn’t help? Arguing about it. This should be an easy example of “listen to the Jewish voices”, but instead it’s triggering debates over whether or not it’s “okay” to have non-Jews play Jewish people. I used to be sympathetic toward it being acceptable, but I grew out of that notion because Jewish “whiteness” was always conditional. If the last decade has taught me anything, it’s that many white people still don’t accept us. And I can’t even begin to talk for non-Ashkenazi Jews!

Honestly, I’m tired of having to justify proper Jewish representation. We make up roughly 0.25% of the global population, and yet we’re both everything and nothing. This extends to our on-screen portrayals, with Jews being reduced to either stock tropes, or having our stories coopted by non-Jews. Cooper’s Bernstein’s another example of the latter, and he won’t be the last. Not until actual change happens.

I get that this might not seem bad to even many Jews. Bradley Cooper looks a lot like Leonard Bernstein, and acting’s largely about pretending. The “Jewish nose” debate also ignores that some Jews have big noses. I have a big nose, as do most members of my family! There’s a reason why this became a stereotype, as unfair as it is. Also, like I said, I’m sure Maestro will be good, especially given who’s overseeing it.

But that doesn’t matter. The damage has already been done, and there’s no way to fix this with two strikes happening simultaneously. For now, all I can do is get my thoughts out and explain why this bothers me. Because it absolutely does, I can’t lie. And until something happens in Hollywood to fix this, it’ll keep happening with future stories about Jews.