NFTs: Non-FungAHHble Tokens

Dear humanity:

It’s come to my attention that you’re obsessed with NFTs, or “non-fungible tokens”. For some, this is a chance to jump on the clout train. For others, this is another reminder of the concerns surrounding cryptocurrency. Regardless, NFTs aren’t going away. If anything, they’re becoming more prevalent.

What’s an NFT? It’s a digital representation of a physical asset. Except, like most digital purchases, you don’t “own” it. This is because the “token” in “non-fungible token” implies that you have a temporary license, and it can be taken away. Think of DRM, or “digital rights management”, except with immediate ramifications.

Now that that’s established, time to launder my issues with NFTs:

Firstly, they aren’t regulated. Contrary to what you’d think, NFTs are easy to make and steal. I can post art that I drew in high school online, watch it become an NFT and witness people share it without crediting me. And that worries me. Most art purchases require proof of purchase, but NFTs don’t. Simply right-click on an NFT and, voilà! It’s yours to exploit.

Secondly, NFTs are often non-consensual. Many artists have claimed their art was made into them without their knowledge. Considering that ownership of art’s still ownership, isn’t that a little disturbing? It doesn’t help that many NFT distributors have been caught red-handed, then played dumb. That’s really shady, no? I think so.

Thirdly, NFTs aren’t environmentally-friendly. Basically, and this is really oversimplified, whenever NFTs are created, they use a blockchain method. This blockchain requires lots of energy, and I don’t say that lightly. There’ve been videos and images of energy farms used to make them, and they’re massive. Considering the amount of heat that gives off, as well as the real-world consequences for countries like Kazakhstan, isn’t that concerning?

And fourthly, NFTs are generally pretty ugly. Remember when I mentioned how anything art-related can be made into an NFT? I meant that literally. Whether it’s Bored Ape, or poorly-shaded images, NFTs don’t have a great reputation for beauty. If anything, they’re sloppy. Why would you take pride in that? I don’t get it.

Anyway, now that I’ve established the above, I have to ask why they’re trendy. Is it because they’re “cool”? Because I can assure you, they’re not. Is it because they symbolize power? I can see that somewhat, but the status of NFTs as products is limited. At best, you trade them for an unreasonably-high price. And given how arbitrary that already is, it’s not high praise.

I’d be less concerned if most NFT collectors weren’t ignorant about how they worked. Like I said, NFTs are easy to copy. And yet, whenever an NFT purchaser realizes this, they’re almost always shocked that something they “own” was stolen. Is it that shocking, though? This is basic “hand in the cookie jar” logic. Except that instead of acknowledging you stole the cookie, you break the jar and burn the evidence.

You know what the biggest telltale of NFTs being ridiculous is? Anil Dash, the creator of NFTs, has disowned them. Like Pepe the Frog, NFTs are so badly-misused their original visionary no longer wants to be associated with them. When your product can’t be endorsed anymore, there’s a problem.

I get that this must be tough for you to take in. Like kids being told Santa Claus isn’t real, or adult Christians being told Christian Supersessionism of Judaism’s Antisemitic, it feels like a betrayal. But whereas an argument can be made for enjoying the myth of Santa Claus, or having a Christianity that moves past its Antisemitism, NFTs have a harder uphill battle to climb. It’s not like the core concept can’t be useful, but it’d require reworking how they’re made and distributed. Essentially, we’d have to regulate NFTs.

In the meantime, it’s not like wanting to own art is bad. But there are better ways. You can draw your own original creations, if you’re inclined. Or you can commission your favourite artists to make art. The latter may involve a fee, which can be disheartening, but artists have to make a living too! And NFTs don’t allow for that.

If anything’s to be learned here, it’s that NFTs aren’t all they’re hyped up to be. As I’ve stated, they’re unregulated, easy to produce, rampant to theft, energy-inefficient and (mostly) really ugly. They’re not worth your time, essentially. And until we can start having a serious conversation without people getting offended, then this’ll continue to get worse. The world has enough issues without adding NFTs, it doesn’t need an unregulated cryptocurrency that’s rampant with problems added to the pyre.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go do something more productive than ramble further. It’s healthier that way.

Sincerely;

Whitly.

P.S. If anything I say sounds too good to be true, simply Google NFTs. I’m not the first one to write about them being questionable, and there are experts who know far more than I do.