It seems like a bigger deal than it is, as they’ve gone 26 movies without one, but given how the internet reacted to the news, it felt like the world was ending. But it’s not. It was inevitable, assuming the Netflix and primetime shows don’t count, and I’m impressed it took so long. So let’s discuss Eternals. Be prepared for light spoilers.
I’ll get the elephant in the room out of the way: you wouldn’t know Eternals was “bad” from the marketing. The trailers were no worse than other MCU entries, the directing was solid and the casting was really strong. This was also a passion project for Chloé Zhao, one she’d fought for for some time. Given her recent awards for Nomadland, and how Kevin Feige was impressed by some of her shot compositions, nothing indicated a disaster. So what went wrong?
It’s tough to say. Zhao was working with bizarre and confusing material. Jack Kirby might’ve been a legend in the world of comics, but the concept for The Eternals opened a Pandora’s Box that, to this day, remains divisive. It doesn’t help that adapting it for the 21st Century meant updating concepts that haven’t aged well, particularly the Deviants. She had serious handicaps from the get-go.
You see that in the movie itself. Theoretically, the premise isn’t unsalvageable: 10 super-powered beings fight human-eating predators while questioning their purpose. That alone could make for something great, especially with the right amount of sensitivity. Unfortunately, much of the story’s expository pondering about humanity, the meaning of life and if the ends justify the means. Add in time jumps, and that The MCU has struggled when it’s focused too heavily on world-building, and I’m surprised the movie doesn’t trip over itself more often.
For example, one scene deals with Hiroshima. In it, Phastos ponders if his desire to help society advance was a mistake, given the human propensity for violence and destruction. It’s interesting, and it could’ve made for a story on its own, but since this is The MCU’s first openly-gay character, it’s icky. And yes, you read that correctly.
That’s the movie’s biggest issue: it’s littered with writing decisions and concepts that don’t work. Ikaris’s villain arc, aside from cribbing Watchmen’s Ozymandias, has so many weird highs and lows that its resolution, jettisoning himself into The Sun, comes from nowhere and doesn’t feel earned. Nor does Sprite’s crush on Ikaris, or her desire to live a human life. Even Thena’s conflict, her struggle to control her free will, is lopsided, and while it ends nicely, it’s a serious head-scratcher.
These choices are peppered throughout, making everything lacklustre. And the climax, in which 8 of the Eternals band together to prevent a Celestial from destroying Earth, has so many left-field moments that it feels less satisfying than it should. Seriously, count them. If you can do that, congratulations! Pat yourself on the back.
Arguably the biggest failing is the emotional core. There are many scenes that should’ve made me cry, but didn’t. And it’s because the script didn’t get me invested in the Eternals’ inner dilemmas. That’s not a good sign considering The MCU once made me teary-eyed over a raccoon grieving a sentient tree. What happened?
That’s the movie’s biggest issue: it’s littered with writing decisions and concepts that don’t work. Ikaris’s villain arc, aside from cribbing Watchmen’s Ozymandias, has so many weird highs and lows that its resolution, jettisoning himself into The Sun, comes from nowhere and doesn’t feel earned. Nor does Sprite’s crush on Ikaris, or her desire to live a human life. Even Thena’s conflict, her struggle to control her free will, is lopsided, and while it ends nicely, it’s a serious head-scratcher.
These choices are peppered throughout, making everything lacklustre. And the climax, in which 8 of the Eternals band together to prevent a Celestial from destroying Earth, has so many left-field moments that it feels less satisfying than it should. Seriously, count them. If you can do that, congratulations! Pat yourself on the back.
Arguably the biggest failing is the emotional core. There are many scenes that should’ve made me cry, but didn’t. And it’s because the script didn’t get me invested in the Eternals’ inner dilemmas. That’s not a good sign considering The MCU once made me teary-eyed over a raccoon grieving a sentient tree. What happened?
I feel bad for pointing this out. There’s a lot of sincerity here that’s missing in some of The MCU’s best. The casting is diverse. There’s a sex scene that feels genuine. The movie has a gay man and a deaf girl of prominence, and neither feels forced. Even the acting’s leagues above the writing, elevating moments that’d otherwise feel mediocre.
That’s why discussing this movie is so difficult. I wanted to love Eternals, and there were moments where I genuinely enjoyed myself. But while it’s not good, there’s too much that works here for me to despise it altogether. Even Thor: The Dark World wore its mediocrity like ratty clothing, but Eternals? I’m not sure what to think of Eternals!
I know movie watching is subjective and personal. Eternals, therefore, is no different. If someone loves it, I can see the case for why. Conversely, if someone despises it, I can also see that. But myself? I don’t know. It takes a lot to actively turn me off from a movie, but I might need to re-watch this one a few more times to properly assess it. That’s how odd it is.
I also think the discourse surrounding the film’s existence has been blown way out of proportion. Is it the worst movie ever? Not really. I wouldn’t even call it the worst superhero movie ever, there are several other candidates that better fit that. But is it a good movie? No, and that’s okay. We’ve gone this long without a dud from The MCU, and that’s commendable. Besides, Eternals being bad doesn’t matter in the grand scheme. Not at this stage.
That’s why discussing this movie is so difficult. I wanted to love Eternals, and there were moments where I genuinely enjoyed myself. But while it’s not good, there’s too much that works here for me to despise it altogether. Even Thor: The Dark World wore its mediocrity like ratty clothing, but Eternals? I’m not sure what to think of Eternals!
I know movie watching is subjective and personal. Eternals, therefore, is no different. If someone loves it, I can see the case for why. Conversely, if someone despises it, I can also see that. But myself? I don’t know. It takes a lot to actively turn me off from a movie, but I might need to re-watch this one a few more times to properly assess it. That’s how odd it is.
I also think the discourse surrounding the film’s existence has been blown way out of proportion. Is it the worst movie ever? Not really. I wouldn’t even call it the worst superhero movie ever, there are several other candidates that better fit that. But is it a good movie? No, and that’s okay. We’ve gone this long without a dud from The MCU, and that’s commendable. Besides, Eternals being bad doesn’t matter in the grand scheme. Not at this stage.
Now then, about Hawkeye…
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