Closing the Loop

Growing up with Autism was difficult. I wasn’t diagnosed until middle school, and I always thought something was wrong with me: why was math so confusing and tedious? Why were colours a challenge to grasp? And why did social cues not come naturally? These issues are understandable in hindsight, what with my learning style, but as a kid it was a nightmare! Why did everything have to be so hard to learn? 

I mention this because entertainment was my best teacher. I had plenty of interventions, that much I won’t deny. But that was only one part. When I wasn’t being “brain trained” by professionals, I still needed additional help that entertainment provided.

Consider it like this: narrative art, while created by humans, runs on “closed loop behaviour”. No matter how authentic it is, it’s still predetermined. Characters in a story, even a choose your own adventure, have a planned outcome. They lack true agency, making them predictable. It’s this predictability that I latched onto.

It’s helpful because real life runs on “opened loop behaviour”. Life’s unpredictable. People make decisions that aren’t always planned. And even when they’re planned, a lot can go wrong. This unpredictability gives little leeway for errors. There’s minimal room for mistakes, and the consequences are immediate. Sometimes, the consequences for good decisions are more immediate, not allowing time to process what I did right. 

I don’t mean to be condescending. Life’s hard enough as is, and people are bound to make mistakes. But being Autistic gives little wiggle room to learn from them. Whereas neurotypical individuals can process their wrongdoings on their first or second tries, I take a while. That’s a luxury I’m not always afforded.

Which goes back to why entertainment’s an effective educator. It functions on a closed loop, so it’s easier to predict how human behaviour will play out. And if I don’t get it right away? Well, I can always try again, assuming I have the time to do so.

This indirect education’s underrated, honestly. Parent groups often decry media as “corrupting the youth”, not recognizing that it doesn’t have to. Sure, there’ll always be garbage media. But even then it’s closed loop. It allows an Autistic individual to comprehend it without the consequences of reality. 

But I also think “corrupted media” lets me to challenge how I view the world. Life’s messy, let’s face it. A lot happens daily that’s scary and lacks a clear-cut answer. But when entertainment tackles this, it does so in a closed loop. That’s invaluable for me.

It doesn’t have to stop at visual entertainment! Books and audio recordings are also great, being based in similar, closed loop formats. The only difference is the medium: books use text to convey this, while audio recordings use sound. But they reinforce what visual mediums use pictures for.

I’ve left out video games so far, but that’s a unique angle on this. Every other medium is detached, but video games are designed to be interactive. Not only is the loop closed, but you close it yourself. This is crucial in taking the narrative into your own hands, all-the-while still detaching from the high stakes of real life. Of all my non-human teachers, that was my favourite. 

I know that it sounds strange to say all this: yes, entertainment’s no substitute for reality. True, real people are still your best teachers, as we’re inherently social. But that doesn’t mean you can’t still learn from what art has to offer. It’s still valuable in teaching people streamlined concepts about life. That shouldn’t be discounted.

That’s not to say that mass entertainment can’t have limitations. It absolutely can! I sometimes get bored by poorly-formatted books. Some movies and shows are too confusing to keep my interest. Even some video games are so difficult that I’m forced to resort to strategy guides or online tutorials, ruining the fun in the process. These are setbacks that can occur from closed loop vehicles.

Nevertheless, a closed loop teaching vehicle can still be an effective teacher. And yeah, it’s frustrating knowing that I’m forever handicapped. But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy or appreciate them anyway, right? That doesn’t discount what they have to offer, does it? I don’t think so! 

I’ll be the first to recognize my limitations. My poor reflexes and lack of judgment will make it impossible to drive a car. My motor skill deficiencies will forever slow down my speed of production. And my information comprehension difficulties will make it difficult to process detailed instructions. These challenges and setbacks will hold me back until the day I die, and I have no shame in admitting that.

That doesn’t mean I can’t still learn how to engage with the rest of the world. Because I have, and closed loop interactions are a big reason for why. Is it always fun? No. Is it always glamorous? Again, no. But it’s worthwhile for me to try it out anyway, as it lacks the frustrating penalties of reality. The key is learning how to bridge them, though assuming it’s impossible gives me too little credit!