It's not surprising that Star Wars had cashed in. It’s been around for nearly 50 years, being ingrained in pop culture like an ear-worm. What’s surprising, however, is how it’s a product of shame. George Lucas has disowned it, while Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill and the late-Carrie Fisher view it as a blight on their careers. What’s even more surprising than that is its relative obscurity. The Star Wars Holiday Special isn’t only an embarrassment, it’s hard to find! It’s only through the internet that you can access it, albeit in poor quality.
Naturally, I decided to see it for myself.
I’ll spare you a full-on synopsis. All that’s worth noting is that it centres around a Wookie holiday called Life Day, and that Chewbacca’s family spends most of it waiting anxiously for him to arrive. Aside from subplots that waste time, it’s a story about three Wookies waiting for their family member in a mundane and unimaginative way. Even the franchise’s science-fantasy components, which were in their infancy in 1978, aren’t utilized efficiently, instead either feeling like fever dreams, or uncomfortable Saturday Night Live sketches.
I’m not kidding about that. In one section, the mama Wookie watches a man in drag and bad makeup make “Bantha stew” in a sexualized manner. Another has the grandpa Wookie experience a VR session with a singer hitting on him. It sounds bizarre typing these sentences, but that fits the special’s vibe: bizarre. Or, at least, it’s bizarre when it’s not boring.
Unfortunately, most of it is. It doesn’t help that the Wookies are the stars, as their dialect’s incomprehensible without a translator. You can gleam some context from their body language, but it’s not enough. Then again, having someone constantly interpret their words would be cumbersome. It’s a lose-lose situation.
Perhaps the only part that really, truly feels interesting occurs in the third-act, when Imperials crash the home under suspicion of Rebel spies hiding there. This is the special’s high-point, adding suspense and tension to something otherwise dull. But even then there are cutaways to less-interesting side-plots. And the tension’s diffused too quickly once Han Solo and Chewbacca arrive. It’s a shame because the special would’ve been infinitely better had it focused on the Imperials interrogating the Wookies…
Then there are the musical numbers that break up the pacing. The best one involves an elderly, female cantina owner singing to her customers about leaving before curfew, but that’s saying little. All of the songs are silly and lame, complete with rhyme schemes that drag on too long. Even the last song, sung by Princess Leia, is so laughably-bad that it’s become an internet meme. If you don’t believe me, have a listen.
Perhaps the only part that really, truly feels interesting occurs in the third-act, when Imperials crash the home under suspicion of Rebel spies hiding there. This is the special’s high-point, adding suspense and tension to something otherwise dull. But even then there are cutaways to less-interesting side-plots. And the tension’s diffused too quickly once Han Solo and Chewbacca arrive. It’s a shame because the special would’ve been infinitely better had it focused on the Imperials interrogating the Wookies…
Then there are the musical numbers that break up the pacing. The best one involves an elderly, female cantina owner singing to her customers about leaving before curfew, but that’s saying little. All of the songs are silly and lame, complete with rhyme schemes that drag on too long. Even the last song, sung by Princess Leia, is so laughably-bad that it’s become an internet meme. If you don’t believe me, have a listen.
The special ends with a clip show of everything Star Wars to that point. Which is another way of saying only the 1977 classic. But it doesn’t evoke the Star Wars nostalgia it intends, as that’d be too interesting! Instead it makes me wish I was watching that movie, something made more difficult by all the tinkering George Lucas has done in the intervening decades. I’m not sure if that’s supposed to insult me more, or less. I’m still debating that.
That’s The Star Wars Holiday Special in a nutshell: insulting. Yes, it gave us Boba Fett, a character who wasn’t interesting until decades later. True, many of the special effects are impressive, utilizing a mixture of rotoscoping, miniatures, matte paintings and blue screen, to name a few. No, I also wouldn’t consider this the worst special ever. But it’s not good. And given how much the franchise has endured since, it’s no exaggeration to call it one of its worst offerings.
I feel bad trashing this. It’s 45 years-old, and it’s had its share of detractors and jokes. Its talent disowning it, like I said earlier, speaks volumes, as does its obscurity! But it’s no less true. The special feels corporate, enough that, had it been made now, it’d be easily confused as AI-written for the uninitiated. It also lacks a beating heart, coming off as every stereotypical adjective for a holiday special. This isn’t even mentioning that several writers penned it, all of whom I’m sure are embarrassed now!
That’s The Star Wars Holiday Special in a nutshell: insulting. Yes, it gave us Boba Fett, a character who wasn’t interesting until decades later. True, many of the special effects are impressive, utilizing a mixture of rotoscoping, miniatures, matte paintings and blue screen, to name a few. No, I also wouldn’t consider this the worst special ever. But it’s not good. And given how much the franchise has endured since, it’s no exaggeration to call it one of its worst offerings.
I feel bad trashing this. It’s 45 years-old, and it’s had its share of detractors and jokes. Its talent disowning it, like I said earlier, speaks volumes, as does its obscurity! But it’s no less true. The special feels corporate, enough that, had it been made now, it’d be easily confused as AI-written for the uninitiated. It also lacks a beating heart, coming off as every stereotypical adjective for a holiday special. This isn’t even mentioning that several writers penned it, all of whom I’m sure are embarrassed now!
Yet I can’t blame anyone. For all the criticism to lob its way, it was made as a favour to Lucas’s merchandising department during the three-year gap between the original film and its sequel. Considering how the franchise was a surprise hit, it made sense to capitalize on that. That it was familiar was an added bonus. And that it tied into the holiday season was a way to get its audience in the right mood.
Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean I can’t mock it. Not only have merchandise tie-ins been good before, (I love the Digimon franchise,) but something this high-profile definitely deserves better. Star Wars may be a fantasy series about space wizards for children, but there’s a line between missed potential and not trying. This special’s an example of the latter.
It wouldn’t even be worth talking about if it weren’t considered lost media. The upload I watched on YouTube didn’t even have some of the segments, like the in-special cartoon. But that can’t mask the lack of engagement. The Star Wars Holiday Special’s too dull to be weird, too weird to be engaging, and too lifeless to be respectful. And I’m not saying that to stir up trouble, either.
Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean I can’t mock it. Not only have merchandise tie-ins been good before, (I love the Digimon franchise,) but something this high-profile definitely deserves better. Star Wars may be a fantasy series about space wizards for children, but there’s a line between missed potential and not trying. This special’s an example of the latter.
It wouldn’t even be worth talking about if it weren’t considered lost media. The upload I watched on YouTube didn’t even have some of the segments, like the in-special cartoon. But that can’t mask the lack of engagement. The Star Wars Holiday Special’s too dull to be weird, too weird to be engaging, and too lifeless to be respectful. And I’m not saying that to stir up trouble, either.
Have a festive season everyone. And may it be more eventful than this special will ever be!
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