Tuesday, September 19, 2023

F-Zero's 99th Cacophony

I’ve never been big on the F-Zero franchise. It’s well-made, but the difficulty spikes are a turn-off because I’m not a fan of overly-hard games. This is especially true of F-Zero GX, which I only played for a few minutes before crashing and giving up. It’s unfortunate because the videos I’ve seen make these games look like fun! Doubly-so when factoring in the franchise’s arcade-style mechanics.


It's worth writing about this now, despite having tried before on several occasions, because a new entry was recently released on the Switch. Known as F-Zero 99, because it allows up to 99 racers, it was a free download for Nintendo Switch Online users. I’ve been one for years, so I decided to try it out. And while the game’s punishing at times, I’m surprised by how much I’ve been enjoying it. This might even be my favourite F-Zero title, though that’s not saying much…

What makes F-Zero 99 click? I think it has to do with how user-friendly it is. The game’s challenging, but not unforgiving. Even the tutorials, which themselves are difficult, have enough leeway to learn the basic mechanics while also getting crushed repeatedly. For a game with a chaotic gimmick, it’s surprisingly intuitive to understand.

Make no mistake: F-Zero 99 is chaos! Between difficult race tracks to navigate around, even at their most-simplistic, and avoiding 98 other racers, this game pulls no punches. Whether it’s trying to KO your opponents, or not depleting your energy reserves, each race becomes a game of carnage as you try surviving. I can’t recall how many times I’ve lost a race because I was over-ambitious. As someone with OCD, the balance between having a good ranking and not wiping out is tricky.

That’s also something that makes this entry unique. While you’re encouraged to bump into other racers, you can’t be reckless. This isn’t Twisted Metal, where destroying your opponents is the name of the game, nor is it realistic like Gran Turismo. You don’t even get to use items like in the Mario Kart franchise, though that’d be perfect here. This game’s more chaotic-neutral on The Alignment System, in that your goal’s to survive, but not without some carnage. I appreciate that.

There’s also the factor of maintaining a certain spot in the queue, made harder by it decreasing each time you complete a lap around the track. This not only adds strategy, it makes you feel fear and excitement each time you bump into something. I’d frequently make up lost time, come close to reclaiming my spot in the queue and tap out because I missed the cut-off. Fortunately, I can return as a bumper car and cause chaos for other drivers! That’s always fun, as, like becoming a bomb in Battle Mode of Mario Kart 64, it provides a sense of payback.

Another detail that works in my favour is jumping above other racers and onto a special track. It’s limited and doesn’t guarantee you’ll pull ahead, but if you collect enough orbs during a race you can access a “shortcut”. I always look forward to this because it saves me dealing with other racers. Sharp turns are also a pain to deal with, so it’s a nice change of pace. Being streamlined certainly helps too.

Really and truly, the key strength of F-Zero 99 is how hectic it is. Between veering around other racers, praying you don’t crash, or feeling and seeing the layouts of each course, the experience feels like a cacophony of nonsense. It has its limitations, though: it’s designed the mimic The SNES’s Mode 7 chip, meaning flat terrains with the illusion of 3D movement. This’d be fine in the 90’s, when technology was limited, but it’s now 2023. Even with the advances in technology this is limited, and it'd have been nice to have more of the Switch’s capabilities utilized. But there’s little I can do.

I also think that having to be constantly online drags down the experience. What if you need to pause a race? And what if your internet connection drops out? In both cases, you’d be in trouble, as they’d qualify as a forfeit. Even during training you can’t pause or dip out of your connection! What gives, huh?!

The joys of being free…

Ultimately, this is nothing more than a fun game. Is it an instant classic? That remains to be seen, though it has the addictive feel of one. And I’m constantly tempted to return to it, surprising considering its difficulty. So while I can think of better arcade-style racing titles from Nintendo, like Excitebots: Trick Racing, that I’d instantly suggest without thinking, I’d still recommend this one. It’s good for F-Zero veterans, retaining much of the heart and soul that made the franchise so beloved, but also for newcomers or casual fans (like myself) who might feel turned off by the difficulty. So congratulations, Nintendo: you got me to care about an F-Zero game.

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