GoldenEye 007 Ranked

GoldenEye 007!

Not long ago, I wrote about my concerns revisiting this game on The Switch. Having now beaten it, I figured I’d share my thoughts while they were fresh in list form. So that’s what I’ll do. And yes, there’ll be spoilers. You’ve been warned.

Two disclaimers: one, I’m not including bonus levels, as they require specific unlocking conditions that I won’t abide by. And two, I’m discussing these levels on the easiest difficulty. If that bothers you…make your own damn list.

18. Train

I hate “Train”. I’m sorry. It’s not that the majority of it’s a shootout with every enemy on the train. That gets boring quickly, but if you time everything properly you can take everyone out without dying. It’s also not even shooting the breaks in every section of the train, because that’s relatively easy.

No, I hate this level because of the last objective. Ignoring how you need to shoot General Ourumov at the right angle to not accidentally hit Natalya, which is difficult if you struggle with hand-eye coordination, blasting open the floor grate with your watch is a pain. It doesn’t help that you only have 300 blasts and roughly a minute, or that you keep squatting whenever you get too close to the grate. Factor in that the bolts require multiple shots each, and that the aiming controls suck, and you’re left with constant failures. It’s maddening.

I’ve tried many suggestions, all to no avail: standing further from the grate reduces my accuracy, while standing too close makes me squat. Changing angles throws off my rhythm. Blasting the bolts before shooting Ourumov delays Natalya’s death. Aiming for both Ourumov and Xenia simultaneously might buy me more time, but not enough. I always beat this challenge accidentally after dozens of attempts. It’s less a challenge and more an exercise in futility.

17. Jungle

“Jungle” is a level I initially loved, but have slowly learned to hate over time. I feel bad, as it’s the only level where Natalya helps defeat enemies. She might be more vulnerable than you, but her marksman skills are excellent. That, and Xenia’s a fun mini-boss, leaving you a Rocket Launcher when you beat her. So why do I not like “Jungle”? Two reasons.

The first involves those blasted turrets. It’s bad enough that you’re heading into the lion’s den, you also have to take out weapons that require precision aiming. Considering this game’s aiming feature’s garbage, it’s a chore to take each turret out. Especially the one you climb a ladder for! That is, assuming you don’t realize that you can save energy by going the long way and sneaking up on it! Why was that ladder there again?

The second is that there are only three Body Armours total, and they’re in the first-half. Once you cross the bridge and confront Xenia, you’re on your own. Which sounds easy…until you remember that 75% of the enemies are in the cave. Even if you let Natalya take on a few herself, assuming she doesn’t get killed, you have to hope and pray that you don’t die. I didn’t even realize initially that the final stretch requires you to run past enemies, as they don’t stop coming otherwise!

16. Cradle

Speaking of obnoxious, “Cradle” is yet another example! Except, this time, it’s the final level. Who’d have thought confronting and defeating Alec would be laborious? I didn’t, even though I figured it out after multiple attempts! How do you mess this up?!

The big kicker here isn’t disabling the GoldenEye satellite, because that’s easy if you know what you’re doing. No, Alec’s the real challenge! He’s a cheap coward, shooting you before you can react and running away when you fire back. He’ll even send out his troops while he’s running away, making hitting them much more difficult. Yay!

To top it off, the finale requires you to climb to the bottom of the satellite’s antenna and shoot Alec. That sounds simple enough, but you can’t shoot in midair. And you need sharper reflexes than him, or you’ll fall to your death. Fortunately, the level’s manageable once you figure everything out, so it’s better than “Train” and “Jungle”. That, and there’s Body Armour near the beginning of the level.

15. Depot

Moving on to simply annoying, “Depot” reminds me of one of those games where you select doors and pray that you guessed where the prize was. That’s what it is in a nutshell: opening warehouse doors to find the train. It gets tiring, especially with all the enemies. Thankfully, you get plenty of good weapons, so it’s not too bad. It’s still annoying, though.

There are some aspects that make it bearable. For one, once you get the hang of it, it’s not that long a level. Nor is it that difficult. It’s rote memory mixed with light-rail shooting, made better by all the enemies. It’s also never boring, which is nice. And that you constantly acquire new guns makes for some interesting mixing-and-matching.

“Depot” is a mixed-bag. On one hand, the premise is irritating. On the other hand, it’s exciting. It’s rare that something can be both, but hey! That’s GoldenEye 007!

14. Control

The final entry that’s legitimately frustrating, “Control” is known amongst fans as the level that instantly triggers PTSD. Replaying it, it’s easy to see why. And while it’s not as bad as I remember, it’s still annoying. Specifically blowing up those Armoured Mainframes, of which there are 6! Leave it to Rare to make an objective more complicated than necessary!

“Control” is a two-fold level, both parts equally annoying. The primary annoyance is protecting Natalya as she hacks into GoldenEye. The challenge is moving back-and-forth and shooting waves of enemies, as they never stop coming to you. Fortunately, the technical limitations of The N64 mean that there aren’t more than a few at a time, so you can move around in-between kills. So while this it’s annoying, it’s manageable.

The hard part, however, is finding the last Armoured Mainframe. You can’t access it until Natalya has successfully hacked into the satellite, and it’s tucked away behind glass in a heavily-guarded room. I keep forgetting where it is, so I have to look it up. I’m also usually pretty low on health by this point, so I have to make sure I don’t die. This game, man…

13. Surface-2

How do you take a challenging level and make it worse? Simple: set it at night. It’s unfortunate that this game reuses levels, but “Surface-2” suffers from taking something that was already difficult and complicating it more by making it hard to see. Spatial geography being familiar isn’t helpful when it’s nighttime. Especially when that masks any changes to the layout.

That aside, how’s the level itself? Fine, I guess. Ignoring my complaints, having been here before does make it a little easier. I also appreciate the changes, like having outhouses near the end of the map. And I like how you have to explore the full map to find everything, including a key for an important objective.

Ultimately, this level’s a good stress reliever. Whether it’s blowing up a helicopter, or shooting incoming enemies, it’s a way to let out your frustrations over not seeing where anything is. And make no mistake, it’s hard to see. Which I get, repetition and all, but still. If “Surface-2” were set in the daytime, I’d probably like it more.

12. Statue

“Statue” has my favourite track in the OST. I said it. It also, with two exceptions, is the most-enjoyable level to shoot enemies in. Unfortunately, those exceptions pull it down several rankings. I don’t make the rules.

The first one is halfway through, where you encounter Janus. While Janus being Alec is a good twist, despite it bringing up plenty of unanswered questions, you’re forced to put your gun away the entire time. This’d be less-annoying if I remembered that, especially since the impulse when you see enemies is to shoot. Even walking up to Alec with your gun raised bungles the objective. That’s not fair!

The other moment comes at the end. Right after you save Natalya and retrieve the black box, you’re met with Mishkin’s men holding up weapons to her head. Once again, you need to put your gun away. And once again, that’s hard to remember. You have to let yourself be taken prisoner by Mishkin, basically. Which sucks.

11. Bunker-1

It was a toss-up between this and the repeat, but “Bunker-2” edges out because it’s more enjoyable. That’s not to downplay “Bunker-1”, which isn’t so bad. It’s a “get in and get out” level, with you infiltrating the bunker, doing “spy stuff” and promptly leaving. This “spy stuff” involves taking a picture of the spy satellite, finding the operations key, downloading a copy of it and throwing it on the ground. Oh, and not dying.

If this sounds too technical, it’s not. The level’s designed to be straightforward, with most of your objectives in the room near the exit. The one complication is that it can be easy to miss either the satellite screen and the key if you don’t know where to look for them. Or both, honestly. Both objectives also contain clues you’re expected to figure out. Smooth.

While this level isn’t bad, it gets held down by being too simple and short. Getting to the main room is a pain, especially with the security cameras alerting enemies to your presence, but you can whizz through it way too quickly. I like the retread for what it added, though. It’s those little differences that matter most. Speaking of which…

10. Bunker-2

“Bunker-2” is the superior level. I said it. It might be a repeat with a similar layout, but you’re already familiar with the place, have an ally this time and don’t need to be stealthy. You also start the level with the funniest part of the entire game. Seriously, you grab the escape key with your watch’s magnet, and you karate chop your guard to death. Never mind the logic, that’s hilarious!

I remember this level being irritating years ago, but time has been kind. I learned during this particular play-through that you don’t need Natalya until the end. She not only slows you down, but if you tag her along until she’s needed you’re forced to watch your back constantly. So I recommend waiting until you’re at the control room to go back to get her. I only wish I’d known that before…

The kicker is when Natalya accidentally triggers the countdown for the bunker’s explosion. It’s tense, and a little annoying, but it’s made easier by everything being a smooth escape from there. Simply shoot oncoming enemies and get out before the timer finishes counting down. This is also one of the more-lenient timers in the game. It’s a hair-raising finale to a superior retread of “Bunker-1”, too. Go figure.

9. Surface-1

“Surface-1” is the superior surface level. I mean that wholeheartedly. It’s not only more streamlined, it takes place during the daytime. Essentially, you can see where you’re going. A Winter level in the daytime where you can see makes a big difference! It’s also the first time you’re at this location, so no one’s expecting you.

The level itself is pretty straightforward: find the control tower, disable the ventilation shaft and enter the control room. While there’s not much going on, it’s a fun level to traverse. It’s also a good for atmosphere, something this game excels at. Because of the long stretches where nothing happens, you have time to take in your surroundings. Who’d have thought a level mostly consisting of narrow, interconnected pathways would be so…relaxing? I didn’t!

While not much happens outside of your objectives, it’s a fun level to return to. It’s also fun to get lost in because you can see where you’re going! You heard me! That’s right, a snow level in the daytime beats that same level at night! Take that, “Surface-2”!

8. Silo

A level so unattached to the film it’s based on that it might as well be filler, this one’s also kind of forgettable. It’s not long, it’s not deep, and there’s little to do. You simply take a photograph of your objective and leave, all while not harming any scientists. So if it’s all there is, then why’s it so high up? Because it’s fun. And don’t we need that every-so-often?

I’d say so! So what if it’s a filler level? And so what if it feels inconsequential? There are 20 levels in GoldenEye 007, 2 of them optional. Given that some of these filler levels were obnoxious (I’m looking at you, “Depot”!), isn’t it nice to enjoy “Silo” for what it is?

The one detail that sticks out most, surprisingly enough, is Ourumov’s briefcase. You acquire it by killing him early on, though what that briefcase does is a mystery. I’ve heard that this was an unfinished objective that Rare forgot to remove, but the lore of this briefcase is fascinating. Where was Ourumov going with it? And what was inside? Will we ever know?

7. Streets

A level with a countdown timer that’s way too generous, it’s clear that “Streets” and “Depot” should’ve been merged. While “Depot” plays out like an obnoxious game of chance, “Streets” has stakes. Plus, you get to ride in a tank! And the tank is actually important! Who doesn’t love that?

I know there’s little to this level save from “get to the next level within the time limit”. But so what? That doesn’t make it less fun riding around in a tank and running people over! It’s the closest this game will get to Grand Theft Auto, and it’s enjoyable because of that. Taking down enemies certainly helps.

I’m not sure what else to add. Um, you can crush cars? Did I mention that you can crush cars? Because I’m mentioning it now. Moving on.

6. Archives

Rewinding to the previous level, “Archives” is an escape level that requires precision and stealth. You and Natalya have been captured after the incident at “Statue”, and now you have to stop Alec’s dastardly plan. Along the way, you need to convince Mishkin, the man who arrested you and Natalya, that General Ourumov’s a traitor. Sounds simple, right? Well…kind of.

The trick is knowing where to look for Mishkin. There are so many locked doors in “Archives” that require keys, and that means looking everywhere. Even once you’ve convinced Mishkin, you have to plan your inevitable escape. Where would you go for that? Simple: through the windows.

Brilliant! Windows are usually not the answer to escaping from somewhere, so subverting conventions here is a nice change. It also helps that Natalya, usually a burden, suggests it, making this one of the few instances where she’s actually useful. (The other time is in “Jungle”, sadly.) Either way, this is my second-favourite of the later levels, which sounds strange considering how much fun “Streets” is.

5. Frigate

I completed “Frigate” on my recent play-through in one attempt. It’s also pretty straightforward. Those two details should make it another “Silo”, but it isn’t. It’s actually a lot of fun traversing through the ship and freeing the hostages. But yeah, don’t play this one with DK Mode on. You’ll regret it.

“Frigate” is a great example of an “in-and-out” level. With the exception of putting a tracking device on the helicopter, you do exactly that. You go in through a private boat, make your way around the interior, rescue the hostages and leave the way you came. It’s all about stealth here, really taking advantage of the “Secret Agent James Bond” moniker. It’s also lots of fun sniping terrorists in the head, I won’t lie.

The only time you do anything else is when you have to bug the helicopter. That part’s easy-peasy. I would’ve actually been fine with it being the only objective too, as it’s lots of fun traversing “Frigate”. It’s rare that a level with mostly shooting embraces this. And it’s not even my favourite example.

4. Facility

Like “Dam”, “Facility” is the most well-known part of GoldenEye 007. There are so many great moments: do I go with encountering Dr. Doak, a reference to one of the game’s programmers? The explosive rendezvous with Alec? Or how about, if you’re stealthy enough, sniping the soldier on the toilet from the ventilation shaft? To all of these questions, I simply answer “yes”.

I remember having lots of trouble with “Facility” as a kid, namely because I was 7 years-old. I kept going around in circles, eventually either giving up or dying from enemy fire. There were even a few times where I destroyed the security panels and realized that-oops-that wasn’t what I was supposed to do. When I got older, my challenges were transferred to blowing up the gas tanks. Nowadays, I can do everything in one go. But it’s fun anyway.

There are plenty details about “Facility” that make it excellent, but it’s the above that matters most. Like I said, the rendezvous with Alec’s the inciting incident. Ourumov basically shoots him in front of you. And while I have questions that’d constitute an entire blog post, for now it’s safe to say that this was really intense. It’s the perfect way to start GoldenEye 007, right after “Dam”. But even without “Dam” it’s great.

3. Dam

“Dam” is one of the best entry levels in an FPS game, let-alone a game period. It not only serves as a perfect tutorial level, it also is streamlined enough to orient you to what the game’s about. It’s a “get to the end goal” level, but the terrain’s your own little sandbox. It also has moments where you have to be patient like a good little spy, allowing you to take in the scenery. And it ends with a dive into the chasm below. Bravo.

If I have one complaint, it’s that the game’s dreaded aiming controls are first used here. To be fair, it’s only once, and it’s not that bad. But the lock on the gate should’ve been on a nearby wall instead of the centre of a fence, as shooting it can be a chore. I always dread that one spot, as I know my hand-eye coordination sucks that much. Alas!

The rest of the level’s a chef’s kiss. The beginning trek to the tunnel? Wonderful. Having to follow a freight truck that doesn’t even have a driver? A little creepy, but also wonderful. And that free-fall dive at the end? What can I say that hasn’t already been said?

2. Runway

If “Dam” was the perfect opening level, “Runway” is the perfect capper to it. The objective is simple: find the ignition key and dart to the escape plane. It sounds tough, but it’s not. If you have good fight-or-flight reflexes, then you should have no trouble. You even get an optional tank, though I doubt you’d need it.

I remember this level giving me anxiety. It’s not hard to see why, as you’re constantly being shot at. But in hindsight, it’s kind of funny that it did. Because while that might be adrenaline, it’s not bad if you know what you’re doing. Like the ending few seconds of “Train”, most of the bullets being fired won’t even hit you.

Let’s talk about that tank, though. You don’t need it. I beat the in-level’s time of completion without it. It also, embarrassingly enough, is the one vehicle I don’t know how to control, and I wish it wasn’t even there. But it’s optional, hence it doesn’t impact the enjoyment of “Runway”.

1. Caverns

This is the best level in GoldenEye 007. Remember how I said that “Streets” and “Depot” should’ve been a combined level? “Caverns” is a similar deal with “Control”, but I actually don’t mind it being its own experience. Why? Because it’s pure, unadulterated action, with no other objectives. You simply have to make it to the end without dying. The criteria of minimizing scientist casualties is automatically completed by not encountering any of them. Even radioing Jack Wade for help, which is annoying, is optional.

I’m not kidding when I say this is the most fun level. Yes, it’s a shameless filler level, delaying the inevitable encounter with Alec. And yes, it didn’t need to be its own level. But you know what? Sometimes you want to be a spy, and sometimes you want to be John Rambo. This is the latter instance.

Everything about “Caverns” is amazing! It even has secret routes that you can explore or avoid! Think about it: a level where parts are optional? And you’re not penalized for ignoring them? What more could you want? I can think of several answers to that question, but “Caverns” is still the definitive experience of the game’s 18 primary levels.

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And there you go: my ranking of GoldenEye 007’s 18 levels. If only the game’s end credits were interesting too, but what can you do?