The Little Headache

I’ve made my thoughts on Disney’s live-action remakes known. I’ve also criticized their shameless marketing tactics. While I’ve seen and enjoyed a few of the remakes, they’re less movies and more attempts at marketing classics in a “respectable” medium, except without any of the soul. But they’re making money, so more are on their way. Case in point: The Little Mermaid.

I like The Little Mermaid. It’s not my favourite Disney Renaissance movie, it’s not even my favourite adaptation of the Hans Christian Anderson story, but it’s got catchy music, solid animation, a fun villain and ahead of its time theming. Some aspects, like Sebastian, feel dated, but more works than doesn’t. And, naturally, Disney now feels compelled to bring it to live-action. Joy!

I don’t have high hopes for this movie, let’s be clear. But while I’m positive it’ll be soulless, its casting appears to be a bright spot. In particular, the teaser had me sold on Halle Bailey as Ariel, especially since she can sing! No offence to Emma Watson in Beauty and the Beast, she’s great in her own right, but vocals aren’t her strong suit. This is a definite improvement.

Sadly, I don’t think much of the internet shares my sentiments. We agree that it’ll probably be bad, but the reason why is where we differ. I think it’ll be bad because it won’t do enough to differentiate from the 1989 classic, save awkward updates for a 21st Century audience. The internet, however, thinks it’ll be bad because of Halle Bailey. Specifically, because she’s black and in a leading role. (Now that I’ve said the quiet part out loud, I’m going to have people tell me I’m wrong.)

Hollywood has a terrible track-record with racial casting. It often feels like they gloss over the distinct histories of their source characters to appeal to the lowest common-denominator. On the off-chance they “get it right”, it usually still falls short. This is a fancy way of saying that Hollywood sucks at representation, which is why their few successes feel impactful. Doubly-so when they change the ethnicity of a blank-slate character.

Ariel’s one such character. True, her origins are European, but the original author didn’t envision much for her outside of being a mermaid desperate to become a human. She’s also not real, so interpretations can play with what she’s supposed to look like. Look at Ponyo: that movie’s based on The Little Mermaid, but it’s set in Japan and changes the protagonist into a Japanese preschooler. Somehow, though, that’s acceptable...

I wonder why Halle Bailey being Ariel bugs people. Yes, she’s black. But so what? Mermaids aren’t real creatures with defined features. You’re not sinning against period authenticity, especially since black people lived in Europe thanks to immigration, trade and slavery. Besides, she’s not even human!

You want a true depiction of what mer-people are like? Watch Luca. I know it’s set in Italy and has an entirely different premise, but its depiction of the underwater race is probably the most-accurate I’ve ever seen. Mer-people wouldn’t be humanoid if they lived underwater. They’d most-likely have gills, fins, scales and specially-shaped ears. And they’d most-likely be a different colour to-boot. The “changing into humans on land” part is where the creative license comes in, but outside of that? Boom, there you go!

I know what this is really about, though. This is the internet feeling threatened by the presence of a black woman. According to them, that’s “woke”. And woke is “bad”. Forget that black women aren’t monolithic, that won’t do.

It’s here that I ask the internet to dunk their heads in ice water. Because that’s not only a racist mentality, it’s complete nonsense. You think a black actress “ruins the spirit of The Little Mermaid”? The original movie was about body dysphoria. In fact, the original story was about Hans Christian Anderson pining for the male lover he could never have. I suggest researching the story if this is shocking to you.

Honestly, nonsense like this makes it difficult for nerds to be taken seriously. Yes, Halle Bailey’s black. But so what? Plenty of black girls have responded well to the teaser, not unlike when redheaded girls responded well to the original movie. Film doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and if this paves the way for better representation, well…I’ll take that over the shameless griping of white men.

It doesn’t help that when called out, said white men play the victim card. Like how She-Hulk angered people by existing, this casting decision has done the same. And like it or not, two dozen review bombs aren’t changing its impact. There’s a reason the general public no longer trusts IMDB, and it’s because its users are so incredibly out-of-touch with reality. In many ways, it’s not hard to feel sorry.

I get it: change is difficult. We’re used to Ariel as a white redhead because she’s been that way for 30+ years. But change is also inevitable, and other people deserve their chance in the spotlight. It’s not even like I’m defending this movie, I still think it’ll suck. But it won’t be because Halle Bailey’s black. And it especially won’t be because she can’t sing, because she can.

Who am I kidding, though? The people complaining don’t actually care!