Thursday, August 11, 2022

An Intimate Situation

(Note: The following deals with heavy subject matter. Read at your own risk.)

Every-so-often, a Hollywood celebrity with little-to-no baggage says or does something that disappoints everyone. The most-recent is Sean Bean. Bean initially gained a reputation as a character actor who died in his films. This became so common that he eventually stated that he was no longer choosing such roles a few years ago. This not only killed a long-running internet joke, but it also made his job as an actor challenging. Because he started receiving fewer roles as a result.


And now he’s back in the spotlight, and not for a good reason. In an interview for The Sunday Times, Bean called attention to the TV spin-off of Snowpiercer and said the following about intimacy coordinators:
“Often the best work you do, where you're trying to push the boundaries, and the very nature of it is experimental, gets censored when TV companies or the advertisers say it's so much…[i]t's a nice scene, quite surreal, dream-like and abstract.”
An “intimacy coordinator” is a consultant dealing with sex scenes and romance in entertainment. Their job is to make sure the scene’s authentic and respectful. If that sounds weird, remember that: a. there are coordinators for all kinds of positions. And b. sex is really difficult to do well in film, and it’s been bungled frequently. But I’ve covered that before, so…

Anyway, even if he clarified that he wasn’t against intimacy coordinators, the damage was already done. He went viral, and several actresses, naturally, criticized him. Truthfully, I don’t blame them? Bean might’ve not meant malice, but that didn’t make him less out of line. And in an era of Me Too, it’s incredibly tone-deaf.

Hollywood has an iffy track-record with sex. I’m aware there are constraints during production, but many “romantic” moments in TV and film don’t pass the sniff test today. Nor would they pass the sniff test in the real world. There’s a reason the sex scene almost died out, only to resurge in recent years with the guidance of intimacy coordinators. Never mind that standards have also changed...

Let’s assume Bean wasn’t arguing in bad-faith. Let’s try that. He was off-colour, but not for a bad reason. Why’s this still an issue? For a few reasons:

Firstly, Sean Bean’s been acting for decades. He’s a character actor, after all. He’s done plenty of shady stuff in films, including-but not limited to-threatening someone under the influence of a corrupted ring and kissing a woman against her will. I know actors aren’t necessarily the characters they play, but you’d think he’d “know”, at least superficially, what’s inappropriate. Especially given some of Hollywood’s biggest shames, like the “casting couch”.

This leads me to my next point: film’s dark side. Hollywood has numerous scandals over misconduct, and I’m sure he knows some stories. Some he might even be under NDAs over, we don’t know! Bean’s been around long enough that he should be more sensitive.

Moving on, Bean’s also in a position of privilege. He’s white and male, and those are already unfair markers. I’m mentioning this specifically because expectations aren’t as high for white males in Hollywood. Look at how Ava DuVernay was treated over A Wrinkle In Time, especially compared to Selma. Meanwhile, Michael Bay had five attempts at Transformers movies before moving on, despite all of them being poorly-received. The double-standard exists.

It's noteworthy because, like it or not, Bean’s highly-unlikely to deal with being sexually assaulted/raped. It doesn’t mean it’s impossible, see Brendan Fraser, but it’s a factor. Because of this, Bean has a responsibility to be more careful. Especially given the stories women in Hollywood have shared. Blasting intimacy coordinators is an abuse of that responsibility.

Finally, Bean’s comments don’t exist in a vacuum anymore. I’d argue that they never did, but especially now. If he says something, people listen. And if what he says is inappropriate, people will remember. It might seem “unfair”, but that’s how the internet operates. I’ve seen it firsthand.

Even if Sean Bean meant no malice, his words were still hurtful. He’s also not free of consequence, warranted or not. It especially doesn’t preclude people from responding, as we’ve already seen. Because all of the above is true. This might not be enough to “de-platform” him, nor should it, but Bean should take the backlash to heart.

This should be a learning experience for everyone. We’ve all said or done stuff that was “inappropriate” or “disrespectful”. I know I’m guilty of that myself, and it’s dishonest to cover it up. But messing up or misspeaking, especially about something like sex, doesn’t mean we can’t learn from or fix our mistakes. Because we should.

I think this is a reminder that intimacy coordinating deserves respect. It’s a job, and jobs are often gruelling. This is especially true when working with other people, as humans are messy and imperfect. Also, if the job involves advising sexual behaviour, which is difficult, then perhaps listening’s in order. Especially when you’re not directly impacted.

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