“…[W]ith the theme songs, I picked the best one and talked about it.”
In hindsight, I don’t think that was fair; after all, if I hum them at work, then chances are they’re worth discussing. And what better than to rank them?
As with last time, this list is all subjective and contains heavy spoilers. Read at your own risk:
7. “W-V 2000”
That’s not to say it isn’t good or effective. Quite the contrary! I love its use of keyboard and electronica to capture a specific vibe. Episode 7 is riffing on the 2010’s, so why not go for that feel? Well, that’s what it does. Add in the isolation that creeps in with its repetition of Wanda’s name, and you quickly grasp what it’s about.
My reasoning for putting it at the bottom isn’t personal, but also quite obvious. Like I said, it’s tough to remember how it starts. I also, to that end, get stuck on its ending. I know it repeats the show’s leitmotif, but which key is it in? It could also be that it lacks words, so…
I get it, though. I understand that it’s paying homage to early sitcoms’ not having theme songs, but rather a narrator who introduces the cast. To that end, it succeeds. But here’s the problem: that’s not interesting either. Having The Dick Van Dyke Show introduce itself like that is lame, and this accurately captures that. I’m sorry.
That said, the visual gags are clever. Vision hiding his face in the car with his bowler hat makes no sense logically, but works in context. Vision phasing through the door to the house and leaving Wanda outside is hilarious, easily one the show’s best jokes. And the two of them dancing inside and leaning in for a kiss is a brilliant nod to its era. So while the lyrics themselves stink, everything else is pretty good.
Seriously, you can end this one at “Together one plus one is more than two!” and still make the point. The song didn’t need to continue with another verse that reiterates that. Not that I don’t like the second verse, but that isn’t needed. It feels like padding. We’re not a 70’s sitcom, we’re simply paying homage to one.
It’s a shame because it’s a great jingle otherwise. The song is catchy, the lyrics are inventive, and the visuals are spot-on. I especially like Vision barbecuing burgers in rapid succession. The fact that he goes overkill in-sync with the song is pretty cute. It’s merely a shame the song is overkill, or I’d rank it higher.
Because it contains that edge that I’d much rather stay in the early-2000’s. This is especially the case with the lyrics, which scream “pre-teen tries to sound adult” in a way that kids think is cool. It’s a mixed-bag, to say the least. That, and the lyrics, while cute, are lame. That’s right, a purposeful homage has lame lyrics. I said it.
I feel bad for saying that, though. As with every other entry, even those at the bottom, this is a catchy jingle. The visuals are also top-notch, complete with the VHS-quality, grainy static from the transition period to DVDs. I especially like the freeze frames that introduce each character, as well as the frame-skipping. And it’s angry. Everyone gives off an angry vibe, despite not all of them being angry. You have to love that.
I especially like the upbeat energy and family vibes. This is the episode where Wanda and Vision have their argument, as well as the one where Fake Pietro is introduced, but the idea of family contrasted with singing about improvisation is a neat parallel. Anyone who’s raised kids can relate to that. It helps that these are Wanda’s kids, who are magical twins that age quickly. That alone is perfect for this.
I have to applaud the opening for also using collages to “introduce” (or “reintroduce”) the cast. I like that Wanda’s pictures are authentic, and that the intro lampshades how Billy and Tommy magically aged 5 years like that. My only complaint are the pictures for Vision. They’re creepy, especially the one of Vision as a baby! If it weren’t for that, and that I prefer two jingles more, I’d probably rank this higher. Oh well!
What makes it so catchy is its samba fusion. “Wanda Samba” repeats the same line over and over, but it does it with a beat that makes you want to dance. This is complimented by some elevator ambience, as it sounds like something you’d listen to at a hotel. To top it off, it’s easy to remember. I heard it once, and I had it memorized. That’s rare for me with music, especially with lyrics.
Of course, the visuals are also great. Being rendered in animation, there’s a freedom you wouldn’t get from actual sets and people. Like, would Wanda and Vision flying in the beginning, followed by creating a heart in the sky, work as well in live-action? No, as you’d have to worry about weighting and gravity. Having it animated, on the other hand, eliminates the need for realism. It’s a great opening with a great song, only rivalled by…
But it goes beyond that. For one, the lyrics are deliciously devious, capturing the slimy sophistication of Agatha perfectly. Two, Agatha even pitches in at several points, giving her agency in her own behaviour. And three, the song has layers. Even if you remove the instrumentals and focus on the lyrics, though that’d ruin the fun, there’s still so much going on vocally that you can appreciate it for what it is. There’s a reason “Agatha All Along” has so many parodies and tributes, after all!
Like with everything else here, the visuals are an excellent companion. The montage of Agatha messing with everything behind the scenes is excellent character building. That she’s breaking the fourth wall is even better. That she’s winking at the audience is even better than that. And that final line about killing Sparky, set to “Shave and a haircut, two bits”? *Chef’s kiss*
There you go: my ranking of every jingle in WandaVision. Play me off!
Melancholic: exactly how I like it! (Courtesy of MarvelMusicVEVO.)
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